Suburban Studios

During my 30-plus years as a soldier and law enforcement officer, I have been inside truly horrible dwellings and hotel/motel rooms, including in a number of war-torn third-world countries. Yet this establishment is now tied with a motel in Baltimore for the title of "Worst Lodging I've Ever Seen"! I was part of a security team working 11 days at Augusta National Golf Club for the Masters and associated events. The company I was working for provided lodging for out of town officers, and my teammates and I were billeted at the Suburban Extended Stay Hotel. After completing in-processing at the company office, we drove a short distance to this place and checked in. A very nice woman named Tay checked us in and assigned us our rooms on the third floor. Upon driving the rental car around back, I first thought I was back in the suburbs of Baghdad. Debris littered the parking lot and breezeways, sketchy characters were hanging around, giving us the evil eye, and it just got worse from there. Climbing the corroded metal stairs, I noted that the window screens on at least half the rooms on this side of the building were torn and hanging out from their frames. Unoccupied rooms had open doors. Made it to our teammate's room, and they held up a towel covered with the corpses of crushed cockroaches that they had dispatched in the first 30 seconds of occupying their room. Got to our room, observed that the door had a 3/4 inch gap at the bottom. Opening the door, the funk of body odor and embedded cigarette smoke caused my lungs to spasm, and I began to cough uncontrollably. (My lungs were damaged by prolonged exposure to toxic chemical smoke in Iraq.) Not only was there our own stable of cockroaches gamboling about the floor and counters, but the visible coating of mildew I could see in the bathroom led me to fear that there might very well be a decomposing body residing in the tub. (But to be honest, although the room stunk, it didn't stink like a dead person does, so that was a plus.) I'd seen enough. I drove back to the company office, and explained to the boss that this lodging was a no-go. He was kind enough to billet me and my teammate at another establishment, which although was a half-hour drive from our worksite, it was well worth losing the extra 30 minutes of sleep! (By the way, the other two guys from our team who had slaughtered the herd of roaches ended up staying there, because they are both heavy smokers, so they wouldn't have to leave their room to light up, plus they wanted the extra half hour of sleep. Of course, they were disappointed when we told them that our new hotel served a really good breakfast every morning...which isn't offered at the Suburban Extended Stay Hotel...unless you like microwaved roaches with your coffee!) When I handed back the room keys to Tay, she remained very polite and sympathetic...She clearly deserves to work at a much nicer hotel!

I was trying to save on my expense account so I tried The Extended Stay by Choice Hotels for a 7-day stay checking in on a Friday. I checked in and went to the room, quite apprehensively, due to undesirables lingering in front. I washed my hands and immediately my eyes began to tear and my nose began to run. I looked up and the ceiling was infested with mold. I knew I couldn't stay due to a health hazard so I drug my suitcase back down the steps to tell them I couldn't stay but I encountered a group who made me feel unsafe, so I left and went to another hotel. Once I was safe, I called the Extended Stay and was told to call back Monday for a manager. On Monday, during the day, of course, I drove back and asked for a refund since I didn't use the room. She said, "no, you signed a paper and there are no refunds". I explained the reason I didn't check out was due to undesirables blocking my route to the office (to check out), after only being in the room for 5 minutes. The manager checked to verify the room was not used but wouldn't refund the money for the 3 days because she said I didn't check out immediately. Obviously, I couldn't check out right away because I was too afraid to approach the office due to a group of "salesmen" outside staring at me and creating a lot of fear. Unless you like mold poisoning and the possibility of being stabbed or shot on your way to the room, please go elsewhere. The low rate is not worth your health or life. Also, don't expect any help from Choice Hotels, my pleas to them were worthless, and they did nothing to help.